3 dimensional shit

I hate 3D movies.

When Avatar came out, for the longest time, I never watched it. I thought a film about long, skinny, blue people could never be entertaining. For similar reason, I won’t be watching The Smurfs – short, fat, blue people) Then I succumbed and watched Avatar. In 3D. In Satyam.

I hate Satyam Cinema. It’s got the worst seats, the popcorn gives me the shits so I never eat anything when I’m there anymore, and it pisses me off when people order food and have it delivered to their seat half way through a film. It is SO irritating having some waiter guy squeeze past your feet during an edge-of-your-seat type scene, almost spilling his tray of 5 Cokes, 4 hot dogs and a cheesecake all over you. What the hell? Either stay at home so you can binge-eat while watching a film, or buy your crappy food before the movie, and place it all below your seats!

Anyway, yeah. Avatar – okay, was it because I watched it in Satyam, or just in general, that the 3D was not that great? It’s like the only good bits in a 3D film are when specks of dust, or burning paper, or snow, need to look “real”. That’s the only time you feel like anything’s coming out of the screen. Why not make the whole film 2D, and have a little 3D icon for just those parts, so we can put our glasses to get that full 3 dimensional experience (oh wow). That would save a lot of time for the filmmakers, and would save us from having to wear those stupid glasses and get headaches and bridge-of-the-nose aches. I can’t even begin to think of how horrible it would be if you wore your own glasses underneath!

We watched Harry Potter the other night. Another failure, fake 3D film. Why do they even bother? Being a lover of the Potter films, this one was ruined for me. It was dark. You take your glasses off and you see better, albeit fuzzy cos of the double image thing they do…

Disappointingly, everything we’ve watched recently has turned out shit. Seems like the only decent film is Final Destination 5, which is out aaages from now. I’m actually looking forward to that, since nails and spikes may actually threaten to harm me in 3D. Much more enjoyable. Animated films and gore. That’s what 3D should be restricted to.

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